The beginning of the rest of my life

Here I am.  A single (but still legally married) mother of 3 children under 3.  I have been married for 7 years in a few weeks.  After years of almost every imaginable abuse….I took our children and left to a domestic violence shelter.  Next month I will be able to file did divorce if I have the money.

So here I write….from a domestic violence homeless shelter.

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8 Comments

  1. I am sorry we “meet” under these circumstances. We have a growing tight-knit family on WordPress. Some share more than others, but it is always honest, always from the heart, and we never judge. Having just left recently, you will find many challenges facing you over the coming months as you begin your journey to heal and rebuild the lives of yourself and your children. Please reach out to us for advice and support whenever you feel you need it. I myself do not have children, but I follow blogs of many women who also had to escape their abuse with children. Feel free to stop by and look through some of the blogs I follow on the right hand side toward the bottom. You can also search for domestic violence tagged posts.

    Use this time to begin building up a support group, because you will need it. We laugh together, cry together, share horror stories, encourage, uplift, and support each other. This will be instrumental to your healing process.

    The fact that you made it through and got out is a testament to your strength and courage, not only as a woman but as a mother as well. Please remind yourself of that when the doubts and fears unsettle you.

    You said you may be able to file for divorce if you get the money? As you are now homeless with three small children and have been displaced because of domestic violence and you had to flee, please stop by your DSS department at the county offices where you live and meet with a worker. Some counties have programs where you can file for divorce and if you are considered poor, they will also waive the fees. The county I lived in offers this, so it doesn’t hurt to ask. Also, if you have not gotten an order of protection yet, please do so. You should be able to use DSS to help locate a domestic violence advocate for you as well. Many if not most of the advocates have been through domestic violence themselves and have a lot of knowledge and access to resources to be able to help you with anything you need.

    Thank you for coming here to share your story.

    In love and support,
    Amy

      • It took me a few months before I really ready to open up to many people about what I went through. I left December last year, and I didn’t start my blog until the end of February. I didn’t start talking until I was comfortable. And you don’t have to either. That not only goes for your support meetings but your blog as well. Eventually, you will feel stronger and more comfortable, and only you can know when you are ready for more.

        Once you do, the first time you really open up, especially to someone sitting right there in person, is the hardest. It gets easier. And I think the blog is a wonderful way to help you begin to nurture that trust and confidence you will need to speak on your abuse. It’s a way to get what you’re thinking and feeling out there, which helps you process the grief and also begin to make sense of all the ambiguities so you can reconcile the damage, take stock of what you need to do… and the threat factor here is minimal. There is no one next to you to make you feel insecure or scared you will say the wrong thing. The only wrong thing is to not speak up when you need to. Look forward to getting to know you 🙂

  2. Good for you! I too left my abuser when I had 2 little kids. My oldest was just a year and a half and my little one was just born… Congratulations for deciding to live abuse free. You will find amazing support here on WP and if you even need a shoulder, or an ear, I will be here for you!

  3. Well done, you! You are an amazingly brave woman. Your kids will be happy and safe and proud of their mother. As a woman that survived two (yes, I know!) abusive relationships, I know how confusing and scary it can be when you are first ‘out’. Keep us posted, please! x

  4. as a child survivor of witnessed violent abuse against my mother by stepfather, i commend you for leaving. only time will tell how kids are effected by the abuse, but as a strong, supportive and loving mother, i’m sure your children will thrive under your gentle touch and guidance.

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