Emotional rollercoaster

Today….was a day.  My emotions got thrown all over the place…but in the end I think things worked out.

I live in this domestic violence shelter.  I have been here almost 60 days.  Normal stay is 30 days…since it is an emergency shelter.  Max is 120 days

I was told yesterday to call other shelters and that I needed to leave soon.  With in a week.  Very shocking and unexpected.  I am waiting to see if the apartment I applied for will approved me and I should know for sure within the week.  If I am approved, I should move in within the week as well.  Sounded awesome…except the shelter director wanted me to ship out to the first shelter with an opening.  Without waiting for word from this apartment that has a 2 bedroom for me if I can get approved.

Very frustrating, shocking.  I tried and tried to get them to wait and they kept encouraging me to leave.  Even got the shelter director to say she would drive me 5 hours to another place.  That is a long drive.  I went pawned off, pushed out, rejected, and like I was being wronged.

Anyway…we packed her car and I had to ask why they felt I needed to go on such short notice.  She said that I was going into a transitional housing program gnat would help me for 24 months.  I told her that wasn’t the case and she called then for me.  They confirmed what I said.

She said she wasn’t trying to kick me and the kids out and that she was unwilling to put me in a worse situation.

Not having to jump at the first option is a relief.  I have finally been able to breathe, relax.  I am glad I am not being thrown into something that doesn’t make sense.

So…I will a little more time…to see if the apartment works out…if it doesn’t…to find a place to go that makes sense and puts me in a better situation…for jobs, childcare, housing.

So after almost crying all day, after all the stress, after all the confusion, I am still in the same situation.

It is all ok. It is ok because I stood up for myself.  If I had remained silent…I would be in a worse situation.  But I said something…even though it was hard…and it paid off…

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