Another step forward….child support

So…I filed for child support today.  Honestly…I am kinda proud of myself.  Took me almost 4 months to do.

I am wondering if I am getting stronger, breaking free or being irresponsible and stupid due to a false sense of safety.

It has almost been 4 months since he has hurt me, and a full 2 months since I have has ANY contact with him.  I moved 3 times and changed my number…so he couldn’t contact me if he wanted to.

The thing is….child support is a HUGE no no for my husband.  Completely unacceptable and a crime he believed is worthy of death….especially if the person filing TAKES the kids without the other persons consent.  Eek.  Very harsh.  My husband had a 12 year old and the mother of his son took the baby before the baby turned one and hasn’t made contact since.  She never filed child support…never wanted anything to do with my husband (who was 17 when his son was born).  Before we got married I asked about him paying child support…and be said “she won’t file..she isn’t stupid.  She knows I’ll kill her if she tries that bullshit.”  Yet…like a dumbass I married him.  Anyway…the while child support situation was explained to me more than I can count…don’t do it…or he will end my life. 

I am stuck between being afraid (because I don’t think it is an idol threat), being cocky because it has been a while since he had hurt me, and being pissed off because he SHOULD do his part. 

I guess the cocky and angry outweighed the fear this time.  Can’t decide if it was stupid or not yet. 



  1. It’s very courageous of you to file for what is due to your kids. I will still suggest to report these threats to the police, just in case, (If you haven’t done it yet) . Keep on being strong! You are not stupid you are just bravely fighting against terror. Hugss

      • It’s not unusual for people who were in abusive relationships to withhold information from the police. You can just tell them the truth, that you just filed for child support, you are scared for your life because of comment he had made before and you would just like to put that on record in case anything happens to you.
        If he manages to contact you or threatens you later you will already have a base and it should make it easier for you to get protection. Also if he knows that you have advised the police about everything that has happened prior too you divorce including the threats, that could hopefully scare him off..
        The way abusers succeed is by silencing their pray, once the silence is broken it becomes more difficult for them to install terror.
        Keep on taking care of yourself and your kids…I wish you well

  2. Well I am not sure how it works in the state that you are in, but here in NJ if a parent gets cash benefits the state requires you to file. Since you are not working you can prob get that and then you are off the hook (persay) bc its the state filing not you!
    You should tell the cops what he has said, even though it here-say its the very important paper trail….good luck my friend.

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