I truly thought that forgiving my husband time and time again would pay off. I believed that one dqy he would see that I truly loved him, was not out to get him and would stand by him even when the whole world was against him.
Now…I wish I had not covered up his crimes. I wish I had not been so quick to let everything go.
I wish I had taken pictures of my injuries, had documented all the abuse and had went to the police.
It isn’t so much as a revenge thing, but more of a issue that he has gotten away with so much and never has to face consequences of his actions.
I am not the first woman he has abused. I will not be the last. Woman should not have to hide and move because of my abusive, paranoid, sociopath.
I hope I never allow myself to become in another abusive situation. But if I do, I will not be so quick to forgive. I will not ignore the warning signs. I will not stay is verbally abusive, sexually abusive, or physically violent against me or my children.
I have been seperated from my abuser for almost 8 months. The divorce is in its begining stages and in no way am I looking for a relationship. I have things in my own life and my own mind I need to get worked out. If I am meant to find someone, it will happen when both of us are ready. I will not allow myself to get attached to someone then find put they are nuts. I plan to prevent that by not getting sexual with anyone. Getting sexual creates a bond that need not be there expecially when getting to know someone.
Yes, I am lonely, yes, it sucks. But being with the wrong person or an abusive person sucks even more. I do not need a man to complete me.
I am strong, beautiful and worthy of having a safe and happy life.
Two broken people can not make a healthy relationship. You need to be healthy in order to set boundries, act the way you should and ensure you are treated the way you deserve.