I miss you



My dad…and youngest brother

My dad went to prison for 5 years when I was 14.  I told a school worker that I was going to kill myself or him and eventually said that he “touched me” and balled my eyes out.  The school worker called authorities.  That afternoon police knocked on the door, asked for him by name and arrested him in front of his 5 children.
My mom did not allow me to testify in court, “she acted on behalf of me and my sister” yet never asked us what happened.

I was listed as my dads only victim and his charges were “attempted sexual conduct with a minor”. 

There is nothing attempted about rape, digital rape, forced masterbation, making children watch porn and enact out acts, oral, molestation, watching me bathe while jacking off.  I am just sick thinking about it.  I really havent ever explained what happened and that is fine.  It was not good.

Anyway…he got 5 years for attempted sexual conduct with a minor (his daughter…me).  I always wondered why he only got 5 years…but he simply pled guilty to attempted..and since witnesses werent at trial…i think they took what they could get.

Now…I am 28.  I found out a few months ago that I was going to have another sibling…that my dad and his girlfriend were expecting.  Not right…he simply should not have or be around children. 
Anyway…I find out last night that the baby passed away at 6 months gestation.  I also find out that the mother did something like 10 years for child prostution.  A sex offender who rapes his child and a mom that prostutes children….poor baby! 
I am sooo thankful that Jesus loved that little baby enough to have it be concieved…yet took him from this world before any harm could come to him.