My greastest accompmishments of the last year

1.  I took my children and myself to a domestic violence shelter.
2.  I obtained a restraining order against my husband.
3.  I have had “no contact” with my abusive narcassistic husband for 10 months.
4.  I filed for divorce (and am trying to get full custody with my husband having no visitation)
5.  I am doing the “single mom” thing with a 3, 2, and 1 year old.
6.  I am setting healthy boundries with those around me.
7.  I say no when I need to.
8.  I have educated myself about domestic violence and abusers.
9.  I do not blame myself for the abuse.
10.  I love myself for the first time I can remember.
11.  I have reconnected with God.
12.  I have forgiven my husband
13.  I am content with my life even though it is far from perfect.
14.  I have became a calmer, more loving and more patient mother.
15.  I am honest.
16.  I am happy

13 Feminists Talk About The Time They Hit A Guy

Thought Catalog

In reference to the editor who admitted she slapped a man for saying he thought he might have breast cancer, and the other editors confessing that her actions really made them laugh, a commenter agreed that it was very funny and then shared her own story of violence against men, which she understands is abusive. It got worse from there but every once in a while a voice of sanity popped in to call them out.

1. washlonfore

“Yes, that made me laugh really hard too. Very very hard.

I have slapped a man down before, quite hard, but I love him so I felt bad because, well, it’s abusive.”

2. HansCrosby

“The missus smacked me around a bit for the 3rd time in our 17 year marriage -i never even raised a finger -ever!

I left the adulterous, abusive bitch there and then -without saying a word and regained…

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I am thankful for the abuse I endured

I never thought I would say that I am thankful for the bad times, the evil that was commited against me or the pain (physical, emotional, sexual) that I endured.  Never in a million years did I believe I would actually feel and BE thankful for it all.
I am thankful though.  In so many ways.
Had I not endured what I endured, I would not be who I am or know what I know.  I am a strong, brave, loving, kind and intelligent woman and mother. 
I aspire to inspire others.  To be a shoulder to cry on, to listen, to lead by example, to be a light in the darkness.  If I had not lived the horror…I would not truly understand what so many people deal with and how much they deal with when they are sexually abused as children or abused in so many ways in an intimate relationship or marriage.  I am thankful that God brought me out of the darkness and I will not keep silent.

Good will come out of the evil that was brought on me at the hands of the two men I loved the most (my father and my husband)

A breakthrough

These past few months have allowed me to grow so much as a human, a woman, a mother.  The process was slow…in fact I hardly noticed how much I had changed (for the better).
God put me exactly where he needed to…in the middle of this country…free from abuse.  I needed this time to draw closer to God, relearn how to correctly care for my kids and also how to rewire my brain.
I am no longer angry, I do not feel worthless and I value and love myself.  I am on the right track and I am so thankful for Gods grace. 
I still love my husband…but I am not willing to put any of us in sn unsafe (or unhealthy) situation.  I no longer feel the need to know why he did those things…aside from the fact he is a very sick person.
I was sure I had forgiven him…yet I lacked the “ah hah moment”.  I just knew I was no longer angry, I do not dwell on tje past except realizing how far I have came and how things have turned out better than I knew was possible.

Today…at church I had a breakthrough.  I have had a feeling of indifference and pity toward him the past few months.  And have thrown half-ass prayers up regarding him…but mainly prayed for me and our kids.
Today was different.  I fell before the alter and gave Mitch to God…whole heartedly.  With not a bit of ill feeling…I turned him over to God.  I prayed for his safety, peace and that God lead him where he can be healthy and who God wants him to be.  I prayed more fervently and sincerely for him…and just for him than I have in years. 
This is forgiveness.  Letting go of every bit of pain and hurt, releasing him to God and truly deep down hoping that God holds him tight, leads him toward heaven and takes him home to be in His loving presence for eternity.  I have faith that He (God) has a plan and I am giving Mitch’s wellbeing and life over to the Creator.  I also am content having blind faith and hope that Mitch turns his life around either by humbling himself before the Father or by being humbled by the Father.  No contact is still in place and I will never go back with him or be alone with him.  I do not want to know what he is doing (good or bad) I just have let it go.
It is amazing….freeing.  There is a difference between being indifferent and actually forgiving….

Waterboarding…it happened to me

As I was scrolling thru my Facebook newsfeed, I came across the word “waterboarding” 
Water is poured on someones face (which is usually covered with cloth) and it gives the sensation of drowning and can cause dry drowning or choking on vomit and death.

I am amazed at how many times he did this (normally his excuse was he was making my bruises that he caused go down).

The panic and terror is overwhelming.  I thought I was dying…kept breathing in water and begged him to stop.

I am glad I read about waterboarding…makes my fear understandable.