I have gotten better with boundties. I can say no to helping when I need to, I do not give away things I need, I say no to drugs, I do not let people walk over me and I do not put up with abusive behavior and I do not keep people close who are lying to me, using me or being sexual, creepy or weird.
However…I am not where I want/need to be.
I still entertain inappropriate conversations.
Starting today…I will not allow others to gossip to me (it does not matter if it is true or lies). I do not need to hear peoples dirty secrets, I do not want to entertain crap talk. Some people live off of forcusing on others, makinh them look bad and being negative. I am at the point where I know how bad it is and how unneccessary it is. I am strong enough to set these boundries and respectfully decline to both participate and listen. For awhile now…I thought it was good that I do not do the talking…but today I woke up and realized…that listening is also bad. Most of the time it serves no positive purpose expecially if it has nothing to do with my safety or my kids.
The second one I need to set is trying to help people who have no desire to be helped. Sometimes people would rather complain, feel sorry for themselves and not make any changes. I have been there…but I am starting to let co-dependancy creep in my life again…and that is not good. I am glad I am realizing this early on though.