Today…my husband is in default

I filed for divorce at the of January.  It has been quite the process to get pleadings how I wanted/needed and to get him served.  Today marks 30 days since the date of service.  He did not respond, has not told his family he was served and has not hired a lawyer.
This is the best thing I could have asked for at this point.  I am fighting for full custody, no rights (legal or otherwise) for my husband and no child support.  I simply want to cut all ties and create a safe life for my children and I. 
Since he failed to respond…the procceedings will go on without him.  God is good.  He has gopd plans for those who love and trust him and he does not wish bad on us.
I have had successful no-contact for almost 10 months.  So him not appearing for court is good…I was afraid old emotions of love, empathy, and codependancy would come up if he showed up at court dressed all nice and playing tje sweetheart game he played when we first met.

Now…I must admit that being faced with concrete proof (for the world to see) that he does not care about his children stings.  It stings alot.  But…what more proof so I need to know I am doing the right thing?  I actually need no more proof at all.
I have been choked up, on the verge of letting a tear…or a million tears fall all day.  But…with three kids awake I have not had a minute to actually let my feelings out.  I rarely cry…but tonight I do not think I will able to stop them from falling.
I am feeling very happy, sad that I am happy, very alone, sad that the world has so much hurt and very lonely.  This is the accumulation of years of pain…that will end in a final seperation.  While it what I want…I will grieve what my dreams, the man I thought I had, the good times and the bad.
But in the end…I will be stronger, safer, more concious and smarter. 

Really…there is no downside to getting a divorce in which i have full custody and all rights to our kids.

I look forward to the future.  I have hope that I will not be a Nancy Grace murder mystery.


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