I call bullshit

They say kids need their father. They say that a mother shouldn’t keep kids away from the child’s father.
Bullshit.
I sit here today and watch my boys sleeping on the couch and their baby sister asleep in her room. These kids can be a handful. They drive me crazy at times. But right now…all I feel is love, compassion, and empathy for them.
Baby Emily woke up crying (she has been sick the past two days). I go into her room and she is making the most pathetic soft cries. She opens her eyes, gives me a weak smile as I pat her back a few times and she is off to sleep again.
My heart melted yet again. I actually smiled and thought “Her dad would love her so much.” Everyone loves her, she is a sweetheart, kind, funny and not even two years old. She is stunningly beautiful, big blue eyes and a smile to die for.
But the problem is….her dad doesn’t love her. Her dad doesn’t even know her. The last time he saw her she was 4 months old…and couldn’t even crawl. Heartbreaking.
All I wanted was for my kids to have a loving father, who would kill or be killed for them. One that would teach them to be men and women who made the world a better place.
Although I was not responsible for his actions, I still failed my children. There is no turning back. As long as I have breath…I am keeping these kids safe and away from their father.
This isn’t easy, but it is my only choice. One that breaks my heart at times…but one that I know without a shadow of a doubt is correct.

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1 Comment

  1. You’re so brave to stick to your convictions, to do what you must do to keep your children safe.

    I hear you especially, because I’m in a similar position. I am also determined to protect my son from his violent father, who I wholeheartedly believe only saw him as a pawn to keep me trapped in the chaos of domestic violence.

    An absent parent is a million times better than a destructive, out of control parent.

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