Which is more difficult? Surviving abuse, being a single parent or submitting to God

To be a single mother?
To overcome domestic violence?
To be a follower of Christ (try to live as Christ did by abstaining from premarital sex, being honest, remaining sober etc)?
I have come to find (even within my church community) people call themselves Christian simply because they believe in Jesus or the Bible.  The thing is “You believe that there is one God.  Good!  Even the demons believe and shudder.” (James 2:9).  So, I am saying that claiming to be Christian is not enough to “win your way into heaven.”  Feigned belief in God is not an appropriate safety net.

According to a study http://www.gallup.com/poll/159548/identify-christian.aspx 77% of Americans identify themselves as Christians, followers of Christ.  At face value, this is amazing and a good thing, right?  The problem lies in the fact that Christianity has been watered down.  While we do believe that God is forgiving, we also realize that he sees the heart.  A true follower submits to God, to His will, and although we are all sinners and have our own personal demons (or sins) to fight, we still fight and don’t simply sin because we have been forgiven.

It is not easy to lay down our will and submit to God’s.  It is not easy to trust in Him fully.  It is also not easy to choose to abstain from sex until marriage or be honest.  I am far from perfect, but at 29 I have finally decided that God knows better than I, that he truly has the best in mind for me, that He doesn’t want to “ruin my fun” and that I must submit to Him and His will.

Being a single mother is no easy task.  Caring for children 24/7, working to provide food and shelter, having nobody to cuddle with, breaks are rare and you can be judged.  Feeling as if you have little or no physical, emotional, financial or spiritual help is very difficult.  As is feeling bad for yourself, resentful, angry or overwhelmed.  Keeping up with housecleaning, meal preparation, school activities, plus your work and your own health is not something ANYONE would see as easy or simple.

Some of us (like myself) have no family in the state, grew up with a mom who wasn’t there physically or emotionally and are just trying to figure out what works within their home.  When we lack a husband, life is even more difficult.

Domestic violence (abuse) can destroy a person (woman) to their core.  The scars that are invisible are more lasting than most of the physical scars.  When someone is gaslighted, degraded, humiliated, called names, they  eventually loose their self worth.  Even if they KNOW the abuser was wrong, the subconscious can wreck havoc on someone’s self esteem, ability to overcome, and confidence.

It can be all too easy to be prayed upon by another person and yet again become a victim.  Boundaries are so important, but in abusive relationships they are torn down and the victim can find it almost impossible to set/keep healthy boundaries even when out of the abusive relationship.


1 Comment

  1. Abuse can destroy someone and can leave a massive impact on their life. Even when seeking answers and to try and move away, it is so difficult to do so. I am now back to blogging after my posts weren’t fully posted! Please take a look at my blog over the past year, I could do with some guidance. Thank you.

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