I am officially divorced

My husband was in default and did not appear for our custody/divorce hearing.  I was granted sole legal and physical custody of our three children as well as the disolution of divorce. 
A new chapter is begining and I am very thankful that my children and I were given this amazing do over…and a chance for happiness and safety.
God is good, He is faithful.  All things do work for the good of those who love Him.
I am proud of myself, thankful for this blessing and appriciate all the support I have had through these past few months.  I was brave enough to go all out and fight for what we need and God was faithful….blessing us more than I could have ever expected


Today marks 1 year to the day since I left my abusive husband

Today also marks 1 year that my children and I have been living in shelters. Every day (aside from the single day I got a hotel for us for the night) we have been living in domestic violence shelters.  The first two we stayed about 60 fays each.  Which means this long term domestic violence shelter has been our home for the past 8 months. 
It has been an incredible journey to say the least.  I am very thankful to the people and organizations that have helped us get this far.
I have had no contact with my abuser (husband) since September when I was granted a full order of protection.  I have my custody/divorce hearing on the 12th of this month and I should be granted what I requested since he did not respond or object to me having full custody.  I also asked that he be not granted any visitation.  I choose to not request child support to help ensure our safety and to cut all ties as clean as possible.  So…in less than 2 weeks…I should be single (divorced) for the first time in over 10 years.  Strange to think about…but very liberating and freeing.
I enrolled in online college with an accredited university to get my associates in Criminal Justice.  I have applied for the Women’s Independence Scholarship Program (WISP).  The scholarship is for women who have left an abusive relationship and need schooling to better provide for their families.  I am waiting to see if I get it *fingers crossed*.  The average award is 2k paid to the school you are enrolled in.
I also applied for a scholarship through my church for Women in Transition (divorce, leaving abusive relationship, widows etc).  I thought if I got the scholarship it would be $100, but I received a letter saying I was granted a $1000 award paid to my school!!  So thankful!!  Classes start on August 18th…and I am taking a full load of 12 credits a semester.
Soooo…with the online school thing..I will be needing to purchase a laptop!!  Yay!!  So besides school I will be able to focus on my blog more, pretty it up, make it more user friendly, complete with hyperlinks, helpful information and more about recovering from abusive relationships.  So excited!!

So…stay tuned for an improved blog from me, Brandi.

I love you guys…you have supported me through this all and finally I will have the resources to give back in a more produ

ctive way


Lol selfie with paper towels in the bathroom floor

Today…my husband is in default

I filed for divorce at the of January.  It has been quite the process to get pleadings how I wanted/needed and to get him served.  Today marks 30 days since the date of service.  He did not respond, has not told his family he was served and has not hired a lawyer.
This is the best thing I could have asked for at this point.  I am fighting for full custody, no rights (legal or otherwise) for my husband and no child support.  I simply want to cut all ties and create a safe life for my children and I. 
Since he failed to respond…the procceedings will go on without him.  God is good.  He has gopd plans for those who love and trust him and he does not wish bad on us.
I have had successful no-contact for almost 10 months.  So him not appearing for court is good…I was afraid old emotions of love, empathy, and codependancy would come up if he showed up at court dressed all nice and playing tje sweetheart game he played when we first met.

Now…I must admit that being faced with concrete proof (for the world to see) that he does not care about his children stings.  It stings alot.  But…what more proof so I need to know I am doing the right thing?  I actually need no more proof at all.
I have been choked up, on the verge of letting a tear…or a million tears fall all day.  But…with three kids awake I have not had a minute to actually let my feelings out.  I rarely cry…but tonight I do not think I will able to stop them from falling.
I am feeling very happy, sad that I am happy, very alone, sad that the world has so much hurt and very lonely.  This is the accumulation of years of pain…that will end in a final seperation.  While it what I want…I will grieve what my dreams, the man I thought I had, the good times and the bad.
But in the end…I will be stronger, safer, more concious and smarter. 

Really…there is no downside to getting a divorce in which i have full custody and all rights to our kids.

I look forward to the future.  I have hope that I will not be a Nancy Grace murder mystery.